(For more information about my dieting and weight loss, click here. For more information about the specific foods I eat, click here.)
So I’m sitting there with my family and just like clockwork when the clock chimed 8 o’clock, the phone rang. You probably get these calls too. They begin something like this: “Mr. White. I have an exciting offer to tell you about…” And they usually end quick enough like this: >click<. Do you just hang up on them too? I always have. Until tonight.
Since I’ve become an active member in the blogging community I’ve gotten to read tons of marketing blogs. They also basically spout the same information over and over so I’ve about learned it by heart. So I decided to have some fun this time. The conversation went like this:
“Hello?”
“Mr. White. I have an exciting offer to tell you about…”
“Would you like to monetize your phone calls?”
“I’m sorry sir?”
“Monetize your phone calls. You know. Make money with your phone calls?”
“Yes sir. I’m a telemarketer. Now this offer…”
“Have you ever heard of Con Jow?”
“Con Jow?”
“Yes. He’s a well known phone call monetizer throughout the callosphere.”
“The call o what?”
“Nevermind. My point is that he recommends that you use Callvertiser to monetize your calls.”
“Sir. I’m trying to tell you about a cruise, so let me tell you about the different stops…”
“Callvertiser can benefit your calling business tremendously. Throughout your calls audio ads will interrupt and get the caller’s attention so they can buy products from you as an affiliate.”
“One stop is in Cancun and the water is lov…”
“Grab a pen.”
“Grab a pen sir?”
“Yes. Grab a pen. I want you to take down this number real quick.”
“Ok sir.”
“The number is 1-800-382-5968. Make sure to dial extension 3825.”
“Is this your office sir?”
“No, that’s my affiliate phone number to Callvertiser. You’ll learn everything you need to know about this great service there.”
>click<
It was nice to be the one hung up on this time. So, next time a telemarketer calls, have a little fun. You might even start looking forward to 8 o’clock at night. I know I can’t wait. And thank you Internet marketers for the “ammo.” I appreciate it much.
DIET DIARY
Numbers from Today
Blood Sugar: 78
Weight: 279.8
Fat Percentage: 47.8
Water Percentage: 30.6
Muscle Percentage: 34.8
Food and Exercise from Yesterday
Fluids: Water (16 oz – 5 times a day)
Exercise:
None.
Meal 1:
Oatmeal
Multivitamin
B150 Vitamin Complex
Snack 1:
1 Slim Fast 220 Calorie Optima Bar
Meal 2:
Cheeseburger (Homemade so very lean meat)
Tater Tots (from a frozen bag)
Snack 2:
1 Slim Fast 220 Calorie Optima Bar
Meal 3:
Oatmeal
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By Alex Roshuk on Jan 27, 2008 |
That is too funny, the jargon of internet marketers is extreme and you have taken it to the next step, after all everyone is predicting that in a few years most people will be browsing with a mobile device so why not moneitize the callosphere, hehe…
Alex Roshuk’s last blog post..Tying a will with red tape
By Turnip on Jan 28, 2008 |
I prefer to ask him “are you calling from a non-profit organization?”, No? then “Have we ever conducted business together in the last few months?”. If they answer no to both, they are in violation of the National Do not call register and owe you money. Better than the lottery.
Turnip’s last blog post..Free Backlinks at Qassia
By StanHayes on Jan 28, 2008 |
I prefer the, “Thanks so much for calling, but I’m eating dinner. Give me your home phone number, then I’ll call you back at a really inopportune time.”
StanHayes’s last blog post..Fantasy Baseball Team Names
By Jason - Blogging4cash on Jan 28, 2008 |
That was great.
Jason – Blogging4cash’s last blog post..Gadgets for your weekend and site news
By Saphrym on Jan 28, 2008 |
@ Jason and Alex – Thanks.
@ Turnip and Stan – I’ve done both of those. However, this call was much more…. satisfying.
By Sam Freedom on Jan 28, 2008 |
hahah, that’s just great! I needed that laugh. I did once turn a call around and got about $500 out of it. I was like, “Come on man… how much do they even pay you? Don’t you wanna make some REAL money? Look, just go to URL later on tonight and then you can call me again… on your time.”
And I hung up. But I chose a redirect to the affiliate program that was very short and memorable and it was a compelling venture and since he was already predisposed to such hard selling, he went gangbusters.
Cheers,
Sam
Sam Freedom’s last blog post..4 Contests – 1 Winner – 1 Club – 2 Entrecard Memes and a Goat
By Saphrym on Jan 28, 2008 |
Ok. $500 would have been nicer.
By evilwoobie on Jan 28, 2008 |
HAHAHA… there could be a second part to this… and on the other side of the world in a cubicle in Makati, Philippines, a call center is cursing you under his breath. Then he goes home to blog about it. He won’t mention Mike’s name but his story will get recorded in “call center bloopers” aggregators and be turned into a successful book.
By Saphrym on Jan 29, 2008 |
@woobie – That would be just my luck.
By Lis on Jan 29, 2008 |
*Starts taking notes*
That’s hilarious! Is that a real 1-800 number?
Lis’s last blog post..Happy 50th Anniversary, Lego
By Saphrym on Jan 29, 2008 |
@Lis – Yes. It is. I wouldn’t recommend calling it or finding out what it spells on phonespell.org though. Seriously. Don’t do it.
By Lis on Jan 29, 2008 |
Ah, I figured it out. Ha!
Lis’s last blog post..Happy 50th Anniversary, Lego
By Saphrym on Jan 29, 2008 |
@Lis – I said DON’T go there. Doesn’t anyone ever listen?