This is in response to a question by DrBurst on the Ask Saph blog post.
I’m in my last year of high school. How do I interact with my parents so they don’t worry about me?
Wow. Great question. This is the kind of stuff I really want to answer. Now, in my answer, I’m going to assume the following:
- Your parents are kind and loving parents.
- Your parents are open minded about any news you may give them.
There are some parents that can be highly scolding or even abusive1 if they are given what they consider to be bad news. This advice does not count for those types of parents. If you have those types of parents, you really should speak with your counselor at school.
Now, to keep the type of parents I mention above from worrying about you, you need to be open and honest with your communication. Worry stems from the unknown. However, if the important details of your school life2 are known to your parents, they are less likely to worry about you. Of course, I’m also assuming that you haven’t done anything illegal or dangerous to yourself or others. If you have, your problems go beyond the scope of what I can answer here, and again you should talk to your counselor and/or your parents about it to try and find help.
I’m a parent. I ask my daughter about her school day every day. I involve myself in the parent/teacher conferences and learn everything I can about how her educational and social life. She may be only 8 right now, but she keeps me up to date. So I have no reason to worry about her at all. And I don’t worry about her. I know she will choose the right path as she goes. But I’ll be here for when she makes mistakes or needs help. And I believe most parents are like that. They want to know about their children. And knowledge alleviates fears and worries.
So the short answer is talk to them. Let them know how things are going. Don’t hold back anything. If you’re having problems, ask them to support you as you look to find answers to those problems. Parents tend to try and solve their kid’s problems for them, but that’s not the best practice. Everyone learns from mistakes. Let them give you their ear and you’ll give them respect and confidence in you.
I hope that answers your question. Feel free to provide more information or ask more about this topic in the comments.
(The lawyers say I must: All advice given is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. But I’ll give you the best advice I can possibly give or point you in the right direction for it.)
- Like launching into tirades that break the tv furniture [«]
- including the details that you may normally have a hard time discussing with your parents [«]
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By feefifoto on Sep 4, 2008 |
Seriously, the only way to interact with your parents so they won’t worry about you is to visit their graves after they’re dead.
At least that’s the way I feel about my kids.
Most recent blog post from feefifoto:
By Saphrym on Sep 4, 2008 |
@feefifoto: True enough. However, at least communication can lessen the worry, right?
By DrBurst on Sep 6, 2008 |
Yea, I just feel awkward talking to them. I have a 3.2 GPA about and I have never even gotten a detention or in trouble at school. I’m just socially awkward and they are worried about that. They think i’m an outcast and worry about my life after I leave the house. Also, I became a vegan 6 months ago and they worry about my health. I’ll try your suggestions, thank you.
By Saphrym on Sep 7, 2008 |
@DrBurst: I was socially awkward until I worked at a grocery store as a cashier. The customers awakened my inner speaker. But my shy and awkward self still emerges. It happens to all of us. So no worries there.
As for being vegan, do some research about the health of vegans. Let them see it.
Of course, as I said before, you have to remember that they are your parents. And it sounds like you have loving parents. They will love you no matter what. As long as you keep that in the back of your brain, you should be able to talk to them without feeling too weird about it. You’ll still feel awkward, but this will help you talk to them more.