(For more information about my dieting and weight loss, click here. For more information about the specific foods I eat, click here.)
What is the secret to a good marriage? I’ll tell you. Now, before I do, let me give you some background. I’ve been married since July 13th, 1996. My wife and I had a few things going against us. We married young (She was 19 and I was 21). We had only met in November of 1995 and gotten engaged in December of 1995. Some of her family, some of my family, and some of our friends just didn’t agree with the marriage. However, we’ve now been married for over 11 years. I know it’s not 50 years, but in this day and age, 11 is a long time for a couple to stay married, especially under the circumstances.
There is one major secret (along with many others I’ll share with you over time) to staying married that long. The secret is compromise. “What?! Compromise?! That’s all you have for me after this big long introduction!?” Well, yeah. That’s the secret. But let me explain with some examples:
- Stealing the covers - Couples sometimes complain about the other always stealing their covers. My wife and I use separate covers. this also helps with the temperature issue because she can cover up in a blanket or two and I’ll just cover in a sheet.
- Where/What to eat? - Some couples argue over where they are going to eat. We either take turns picking places or we pick places that have something that both of us will enjoy. I know it sounds simple, but I’ve seen many arguments over this exact thing from other couples. As for what to eat at home, I really like my pizza. She doesn’t like having the same thing over and over. So we make separate pizzas. She sometimes has beef and cheese and sometimes has spinach and artichokes. She’s tried many different things. I stick with my beef and cheese. We have two different tastes as most people do, but we never argue over food.
- What to watch on television? - We have a digital video recorder (like a TiVo). It records the shows we both like and the great thing is it’s a dual tuner, meaning it can record two different shows at the same time. She watches “her” shows when she has free time. I watch “my” shows when I have free time. We watch “our” shows when we want to hang out and watch television.
- The toilet seat - You know, I’ve tried this argument before: “If guys should put the seat down for women, then women should put the seat up for men.” It didn’t work. I’m outnumbered anyway. Guys, put the seat down so you don’t have to hear it. If you put the seat down, she won’t yell at you about the seat anymore. That’s a good compromise in my opinion.
Seriously, I know these seem like small things. But we also compromise when it comes to major decisions about the family and our daughter. We work things out together and talk about stuff until we can agree on a feasible solution to problems. In our over 11 years of marriage, we have never once had an argument. We’ve always talked things out. And although those are small things I mention as examples, remember that small things add up. Be willing to compromise with the little stuff and anger just won’t build up for the big stuff.
DIET DIARY
Numbers from Today
Blood Sugar: 120
Weight: 280.0
Fat Percentage: 48.0
Water Percentage: 30.5
Muscle Percentage: 34.8
Food and Exercise from Yesterday
Fluids: Water (16 oz - 5 times a day)
Exercise:
None.
Meal 1:
Oatmeal
Multivitamin
B150 Vitamin Complex
Snack 1:
1 Slim Fast 220 Calorie Optima Bar
Meal 2:
A Frozen Chicken Pot Pie (Was good and had vegetables. Can’t go wrong there.)
Snack 2:
1 Slim Fast 220 Calorie Optima Bar
Meal 3:
2 Peanut Butter Sandwiches
Chips
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By Fat Man on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
I would add communication as well. Once I started communicating with my wife, things got a whole lot easier.
Fat Man’s last blog post..How Many Sets Should You Do Per Exercise?
By Saphrym on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
@Israel - I agree. That was going to be my next post.
By esvl on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
Me and my wife has the same thing about the blankets, we just choose one that is not to hot for me and not to cold for her.
esvl’s last blog post..What a restaurant can teach you about blogging.
By Sweet Mummy on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
HEY - we got married on July 26, 1997, and I was 20 and my sweetie was 21. This is a cool post. I LOVE these kinds of articles because anything that will help marriages is good thing. Keep it up!
By Ray Loesch on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
Simply said “she is always right”. Act, do and say whatever she wants and life will be rosey.
Ray Loesch’s last blog post..My Month Long Orgy With Entrecard
By Kristen (a happy girl with a marriage) on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
TOILET SEAT DOWN MISTER!
TIVO is amazing. I don’t know how I ever watched TV without. I don’t channel surf anymore. More importantly, no discussions who is going to watch what or missing favorite shows. I can patiently wait a couple hours to watch my favorite show, so he can watch football.
Another things that helped us was getting separate computers. He wanted to play video games, and I wanted to work on my website. Separate computers solved those problems.
Like you, my husband and I have never had a real fight. We’ve only had discussions. Sometimes we have passionate debates. But we’ve never had a “fight.” Compromise is certainly vital for little issues, but I think when it comes to the big issues, the most important thing you can do is ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE.
Don’t try to change the other person. It’s a major cause of problems in the marriages of most of the people I know. Chances are, you knew that your partner was a huge sports fan, obsessed with computers, overly emotional, etc. when you married them. Don’t expect that you can change their personality just because you’re married. You’re just setting yourself up for fights, resentment, and unhappiness. (Exceptions of course are if you’re partner is engaging in dangerous behavior, like drug addiction, violating the rules of the marriage, behaving in ways that are extremely morally wrong, etc. Yup, you should try to stop that stuff.)
Oh, and by the way, I love your blog.
By Saphrym on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
@ ESVL - Yep. Works doesn’t it?
And I agree on the separate computers. My wife, daughter, and I all have our own computers and it works perfectly. Anyway, without separate computers, how are we supposed to play WoW together? 
@ Sweet Mummy - Expect more. I’m tired of doing JUST dieting posts.
@ Ray - LOL
@Kristen - Accepting someone as they are was going to be my third post about this.
By Connie on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
Hubby and I have been married for 11 years now. The main thing is that we are committed to each other. Yes there’s stuff that he does that bugs me and the other way around (of course not as much on my part) but we knew we were different before we were married. Why would being married make us more alike?
I just love my Hubby!
Connie’s last blog post..Viral Linking
By woobie on Jan 24, 2008 | Reply
Separate PC’s is right!
My motto is “I am the guardian of my partner’s privacy. I will not let myself or others intrude.”
woobie’s last blog post..Party Idea No.1: The Valentine Promenade
By Raj on Jun 7, 2008 | Reply
Compromise is a big word in itself. This is gonna definitely work. Happy Married Life to all. Enjoy the life to the fullest.