I was just doing a car insurance comparison because ours comes due in about a month. It got me to thinking though. What if there were web sites to compare everything in your life? So you always got the best deal? Ok. I know. I’m losing you here. But here’s a few examples:

Bride/Groom Comparison Web Sites - “Hmmm. Green eyes. Brown hair. I’ll sort by yearly income. And sure, maybe I’ll do a secondary sort based on love of pets. Yeah. That works.”

Child Comparison Sites - “Huge vocabulary but hardly ever uses it. Perfect. She should also be friendly to others. Hmmm. Sort by number of childhood illnesses expected.” (The lack of talking thing with the vocabulary was inspired by my own daughter’s recent fascination with the English language and the number of ways to attach the word “why” to questions that somehow manage to be asked before the last ones were answered.)

Or… what about before we’re born:

Life Comparison Web Sites (because they have the Internet in the same place they stash the souls of course) - “I want to be rich. Handsome. Physically built. Incredibly smart. That’s enough. So which lives fulfill that? Sort by least amount of responsibility.”

There’s a good reason why we shouldn’t be able to do this of course. Our differences are what make us humans. But I’m still allowed to dream, right?

(Excuse me as I duck from the slap my wife will give me for the first one.)

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