3 Reasons I am Afraid of Turn Signals

Turn signals are a wonderful invention. They let people know when a driver is going to make a turn. They also let drivers know when a lane change will be taking place. Turn signals only work if the other drivers know how to use them.

Reason #1: A gray Chrysler LeBaron is moving along in front of me. The right turn signal on it is winking at me in a sickly red color. I prepare to stop for when the old vehicle decides to make the right turn. That decision seems to take a while, because even after seventeen available roads on the right, the car has decided the only reason it is winking is to try to secure a date with my own, much younger, Chrysler PT Cruiser. Turn signals only work if people actually turn when they are on.

Reason #2: A black Ford Mustang is blazing towards the corner on my left. It’s right turn signal is blinking to let me know I can pull out and make the right hand turn I would like to make as the Mustang will be turning into the lane to my left. As I start to pull out, the Mustang blazes once again, but this time it is its very loud and angry horn. The Mustang does not turn. It continues along the path I was about to take. Again, turn signals only work if people actually turn when they are on.

Reason #3: A line of three nondescript vehicles are congregating on the corner to my left. I want to go forward. I don’t know if they are in a book club together or perhaps they just want to share cups of tea at the same place, but all three vehicles decide to turn right. All three have smiling faces and bubbly attitudes as they pass me. Just as they do, a long line of cars come from the right and block my attempt to move forward. Turn signals only work if people actually turn them on when they are about to turn.

The LeBaron, Mustang, and bubbly vehicles have now caused me to fear turn signals. I can never trust them whether they are blinking or not. If you start seeing large holes in tail lights of passing vehicles, you now know that I have started my personal vendetta against the turn signals of the world. They shall never fool me again!