I’m not the perfect husband. Nobody can be. It just doesn’t happen. Why do I mention this? Because I am one of those guys that “hears all, sees all, but doesn’t know anything.”1. What I mean is, I listen to people, but I stay out of stuff and never repeat things. This tends to let me hear all kinds of stuff as people tend to vent to me because they know they are safe doing so. After years of this, I have come to a sad conclusion: Husbands suck.

To explain what I mean, I’ll go through a few “A real husband…” statements2. I don’t know how many I’ll do, but hopefully you’ll get my point. In the comments, feel free to add more. So without further ado…

A real husband…

  • … does not use his wife as a punching bag. And I mean this in every metaphorical way also. No hitting your wife. No screaming at your wife. No abuse of your wife in any way. It’s wrong. Pure and simple.
  • … takes the headset out of his ear and listens to his wife instead. Phone conversations are a necessary part of today’s world. But communication in a marriage is extremely important.
  • … buys feminine products at the drug store without whining about it. They also know which products to buy.
  • … carries his wife’s purse when she needs him to.
  • … holds his wife’s hair when she’s puking in the toilet. He also gets a wash cloth and wipes her face for her.
  • … doesn’t complain about the money spent on a woman’s hair unless a) he actually notices the new hair and b) he learns to do it himself for her. If you’ve never done your wife’s hair3, then you’ve never experienced a truly personal experience.
  • … learns more about his wife than he knows about sports.
  • … puts down the game controller and does the dishes and laundry every once in a while.
  • … doesn’t get upset if his wife makes more money than he does.
  • … compromises and shares with his wife.
  • … trusts his wife and makes darn sure he is trustworthy. Without trust, there is no relationship.
  • … actually thinks before buying a gift for his wife. May even do handmade gifts that have had tons of thought put into them.

Now, to be fair to the husbands who do these things, I have to say this:

A real wife does not get spoiled or take advantage of their husband when they do things like this for them.4

So, does anyone have any others they’d like to add? Maybe the guys out there feel left out and want to do some “A real wife…” comments. Feel free to reply and add as many as you’d like.

  1. Actually, I normally say that differently, but the wording doesn’t matter as much as the sentiment [↩]
  2. This is also good advice for boyfriends [↩]
  3. or your husband’s [↩]
  4. That’s right ladies. Don’t give your husband a reason to regret being a real husband. [↩]